You only invite conflict when you tell people to "be more reasonable!". ', If you have used Verbal Judo's Five Steps of Persuasion you know that we act after asking our "nicest, most polite question,", "Sir, is there anything I could say that would get you to do A, B and C? Turn them into opportunities to explain yourself . Here's a list of the strip phrases you can use when someone insults you: 'Preciate that; oyess; understan' that sir; Each strip phrase allows you to retain some self-worth while verbally acknowledging the insult, deflecting it with a strip phrase, then discussing what you actually want from the person. If you have trouble communicating with people its because you are thinking about yourself instead of about them. When a character is in a situation that's just about to explode into a fight probably in a physical sense, but a severe verbal confrontation would count too but manages to deflate the aggression and tension through communication and to avert the unpleasantness. Ugo Uche is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in adolescents and young adults. Everyone thinks h/she is plenty reasonable given the present circumstances! In the next part of chapter, he talked about strip phrases. In the context of persuasion, the Golden Rule means to empathize with someones current position (pace them) until he (or she) feels you understand him, and can lead him to a desirable outcome. ParaphraseParaphrase againRefocus the others attentionSay what you want to say. 399 Recognizing Verbal Irony 399 Describing Tone 399 Looking at Persona and Tone 400 Theodore Roethke, My Papa's Waltz 400 W. D. Ehrhart, Sins of the Father 401 Thomas Hardy, The Ruined Maid 402 W. H. Auden, The Unknown Citizen 403 Edmund Waller, Go, Lovely Rose 404 398 Contents xv Like physical Judo, the verbal version is a skill that needs to be developed. In the next part of chapter, he talked about strip phrases. "Come here" means to you, "Over here, you are under my authority." Enhance professionalism. A persons mind cannot be expanded unless he or she is motivated.The underlying principle of motivation is to raise expectations. Sort of reminds me of Bruce Lee, "Be Like Water", Keith! You approach some angry folks and you most naturally say, "Hey, calm down!" %%EOF Having said this, the most important aspect of training and learning Verbal Judo is by practicing it in real life. It is a process of getting people to transition from thinking with their reptilian brain to thinking with their pre frontal cortex. He also talked about other strip phrases such as "I understan' that sir, but I need XXXXXX." See what you did there? STRIP PHRASES . 8 to 5 are emerging as the dominant communications models for public safety. Warning, driver in video uses explicit language. Get ideas for your own presentations. All rights reserved. As much as the participants protested with their words 100% of the participants administered high-voltage shocks. Its not that easy. Stay tuned in the new year for the Webinar, you'll be taught about how to apply this to your real estate skills and it'll help you close alot more deals in 2014 and transform the way you conduct business. }~a~SA{uLPmSa. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. temporarily immobilizingFive: impact tools. << /Type /XObject /BitsPerComponent 8 /Width 550 /Length 97784 /ColorSpace /DeviceRGB /Filter [/DCTDecode] /DL 97784 /Height 832 /Subtype /Image >> Three basic types of people in the world: Difficult people (people who ask why)Whats in it for me?When people ask why, jump into the question and use it as an opportunity.Shift from resisting to welcoming and appreciating difficult people. We didnt cover the importance of Identity and peoples need to maintain that identity, even under threat (especially under threat). Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour. Consider this verbal blunder. They sound like nice people but are closer difficult people.Agree to your face, compliment you, etc.Bad mouth you behind your back, to your boss, co-workers, etc.Does not have the guts to tell you to your face.Most are good and wimpdom and it makes them difficult to detect.Do not like authority.Hate being told what to do.Want revenge. Demonstrate a calm demeanor to help lead other people towards calm. Every . Nine: I am not going to say this again!Best answer: Okay, I got it. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. Here lied the problem, students were quick to learn about all staff members through daily observations and interactions, so those looking to earn respect through a physical confrontation had the upper hand as they knew exactly what buttons to push with the staff. 24 0 obj <> endobj c. Think about your goal. According to Dr. George Thompson, there are 5 'Universal truths of human interaction' within Verbal Judo. Explain your answer. However, by saying Lets talk about this, you dont have to shoot. you are treating the aggressor with respect, asking them a question and are offering them a way out, rather than forcing the situation on the other person. Enjoy your Saturday portion of Frisatsu! \text {Earnings before extraordinary items } & \cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots & \$ 6.90& \$5.50 \\ By a similar token, you can also find a Verbal Judo audiobook if so desired. Force options.Your first force option is your presence, body language, facial expression, youve got to look the part.Verbal is your second option. In any event . Verbal Judo offers a creative look at conflict that will help you defuse confrontations and generate cooperation from your spouse, your boss, and even your teenager. A good definition of Verbal Judo is using words to encourage compromise and avoid negative situations for all parties. Most of the students in the facility were survivors of traumas, who had developed a pattern of becoming reactive in response to triggers that reminded them of their trauma. "Come here" is loose, lazy, and ineffective language. George Thompson's Five Universal Truths of Human Interaction. The Music club also introduced themselves and listed some of the usable instruments. View Verbal Judo PPTs online, safely and virus-free! . The 5 Universal Truths of Human Interaction (paraphrased from Verbal Judo) 1. One, the phrase is a criticism of their behavior and suggests that they have no legitimate right to be upset! On the third day after he arrived in the facility, one of the students confronted me. I hesitated as I held the walkie talkie to my mouth, I knew he would make do on his threat as soon as I placed the call. He is now a popular lecturer and lives -in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Enter https://www.police1.com/ and click OK. Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. One example he was being accosted by a criminal with all kinds of names and he use the phrase "Well, I 'preciate that sir, but I need XXXX." b. Developed Verbal Judo from years of working with good cops and the lessons he learned from them. References:Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Persuasion By George Thompson, Anger Management 101: Taming the Beast Within By Ugo Uche. I'd like to teach you an almost magical phrase that you can use to de-escalate many of the conflicts that we encounter in the course of prehospital care . The driver, who appeared to be twice my size, was in my . Aloha! In part one of this special two-part series for Police1.com, I'll share the first four of a total of seven commonly used statements that can work against you. You want to have an idea of how an encounter will play out. Verbal judo is best defined as a gentle yet powerful way of persuasion. Trying to gain compliance from the . We completely skipped the 5 Step Hard Style where we learn how to appeal to peoples self interest. Instead, use your professional face and understand that someones. After the girl named Tachibana delivered her speech, the club representatives walked up to the stage and introduced their clubs. Eleven: Why dont you be reasonable?Best answer: I am being as reasonable as I know how, and with any luck I will get better. How To Perform Ushiro Goshi The Rear Hip Throw, The Best Martial Arts For Blind & Visually Impaired People, How to perform the Uki Goshi Judo hip throw, Chuck Norris still trains well into his 80s, Entrepreneur Gary Vee gives advice to upcoming fighters. Verbal Judo: The gentle art of persuasion. Instead we must empathize with that position while moving the person towards a beneficial outcome. I'd like to think so?". Use the language of reassurance-"Let me see if I understand your position," and then paraphrase-another VJ tactic!-back to them their meaning, as you see it, in your words! The RE means to give back in Latin. people. Hey it seems youre here to learn more about persuasion, motivation, and influence why dont you sign up for my daily email? Tactically, "May I chat with you" is far better, for not only have you picked the place to talk, but anything the subject says, other than yes or no-the question you asked-provides you with intelligence regarding his emotional and/or mental state. "Rodriguez, are you threatening to attack me if I call security?". All people want to be informed as to why they are being asked or ordered to do something. Select the option or tab named Internet Options (Internet Explorer), Options (Firefox), Preferences (Safari) or Settings (Chrome). Your speaking voice has four factors. a. The phrase shows concern for the welfare of the other and minimizes the officer as the only real force at the moment. Learning to identify these three types is your first step in mastering verbal judo. Most of the key points in Thompson's verbal judo approach apply equally to firefighters and other first responders. We teach in Verbal Judo that 'repetition is weakness on the streets!' Nothing has changed in his routine. Increase efficiency by improving your performance level. Ill admit, I have a hard time taking criticism. According to George Thompson, what are the 3 main types of people in this world? Seems like a very interesting book! Read 7 things never to say to anyone, and why, Part II. Lexipol. c. Deescalate from anger to rationality. WimpsThe hardest group. Hes forgotten all about his promise when the next morning rolls around. Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, Anger Management 101: Taming the Beast Within, 5 Ways to Deepen Emotional Connection With Your Preschooler, 6 Early Signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Children. "Principle number one: Let the person say what he wants as long as he does what you say. Instead of insulting them back or treating them harshly, take the blow. Its a wealth of knowledge that Ive returned to more than once since finishing this 200 page book. But to the subject it means, "Go away-quickly!" verbal judo. This may be called Tools or use an icon like the cog. An open and flexible mind is able to be agile and adjust on the fly. Resist the urge to snipe at them from a distance or gossip about them.In a class or group setting dont embarrass them, let them embarrass themselves.Privately be direct and let them know you know what they are doing and wont put up with it. They were trained to see warfare as a joy and conflict, as a sign that they were drawing more energy. Thompson. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper . B. The words are not tactical for they have provided a warning and possibly precipitated a chase that would not have been necessary had you, instead, walked casually in his direction and once close said, "Excuse me. Professional Software Developer. You always treat the other person as you want to be treated. As a result, injuries on both sides resulting from these alterations were common place. The kid (or coworker) that grumbles throughout a task is still doing that task (even though shes not framing it in a positive way). Not only is there the matter they were upset about to begin with, but now they need to defend their reaction to you! STRIP PHRASES. Tell us your biggest take-away in the comments or tell me what I missed! "Cause I don't want to go to security, and you put a #*%@! Notice this question is polite, professional, and calm. The second sentence is worded differently and offers a verbal solution. I will write more about this in another post, for now here are some references on books that discuss verbal judo to various extents, one of them is written by myself. The point is for you to improve your social status whether in the short or long-term, but is not to trick people to do your bidding. Before day's end he would request to speak with me in his cell room, where he conveyed his apologies for his earlier threats. As the saying goes, the art of war is to not start a war which is very relevant with Verbal Judo. Seems like a very interesting book! Ultimately, youre talking seems more friendly, even if the goal is exactly the same. more professional and less emotional. Officer safety --Officers are taught to use words to prevent confrontations from becoming physically violent; Four: Its none of your business.Best answer: Gently but firmly point out, it is my business and heres why. A customer cane through the door and started a full on tirade about the printing being no good. However, as hes not. Your . Informacin detallada del sitio web y la empresa: sogemat-service.com, +33160803636, +33160805500 Sogemat Service - fournitures htelires : vaisselle, matriel de cuisine, produits hygine et entretien, vtements professionnels, mobilier de restauration. Throughout the current year, the company had 3 million shares of common stock and a large quantity of convertible preferred stock outstanding. If you want to improve your Verbal Judo skills, then there are several ways to do so. %" How to use Verbal Judo. Those of you who know Verbal Judo know that this is the last verbal attempt in our Five Steps to Persuasion, Step #4, and immediately precedes action should . By working with difficult people you have a chance to sharpen your Verbal Judo skills, understand your emotional triggers, and improve your professionalism. Point: Polite civility can be a weapon of immense power! All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. Upon hearing this, my reaction was to reach for my walkie talkie to summon the security team. Using your words will calm them and make them more reasonable because your words will (or better be!) Honestly, there is so much in Verbal Judo that I cant cover it all. Also be aware of your pitch, pace (speed), and modulation (rhythm). Have you read Verbal Judo? Police1 is revolutionizing the way the law enforcement community Verbal Judo: One-Day Webinar, The Gentle Art of Persuasion for the Healthcare Professional, September 12th, 2023. Before I proceed, I want to state that the two names used in todays post are made up for obvious reasons, but the story is true. Maybe they're sitting there silently. Practically everyone knows about Judo and its origins and what it involves. 4 0 obj Sequences and Year Levels Strands General Capabilities Cross Curriculum Priorities Additional Information Telling people "be more reasonable" has many of the same problems as "Calm Down!" My Animated GIF Screensaver (MAGS) for MAC, Reflections on Hawaiis 2015 Global Game Jam, Recommended Reading List for the artistic programmer, Takeaways from The Village Effect How Face to Face Contact Can Make Us Healthier, Happier, and Smarter by Susan Pinker, Protected: Takeaways from The Courage to Teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teachers life by Parker J. Palmer, Protected: Takeaways from The Way of the Samurai by Yukio Mishima on Hagakure in Modern Life, Protected: Takeaways from The Undiscovered Self by CG Jung, Protected: Takeaways from Encountering Jung: Jung on Active Imagination. Even though the packaging showed that it was printed elsewhere, I just nodded agreed and said how right you are. Passed away in 2011 after year's battling throat cancer. $$ All people want to be asked, rather than told to do something. (1993). Their words reflect those emotions, even if they act otherwise. This Video explains what Strip Phrases are, why they are useful in dealing with insults. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. Instead, make people more reasonable by the way in which you handle them, tactically! interacts online and researches product purchases You took the insult and stripped back your response to overcome the insult. Many are downloadable. People hardly ever say what they mean. Come here!" That means playing it safe, surrounding yourself with sycophants, taking few responsibilities, and doing what other people tell you to do. Thompson. He states that all people want to be: Treated with dignity and respect. The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life. Do Not Sell My Personal Information. \end{array} } !1AQa"q2#BR$3br All people would rather be asked than told what to do. The goal of education is to expand the mind. Reference: Thompson, G., & Jenkins, J. Do Not Sell My Personal Information, If you need further help setting your homepage, check your browsers Help menu, Dr. George J. Thompson is the President and Founder of the Verbal Judo Institute, a tactical training and management firm now based in Auburn, NY. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? Here, you will learn what to say, and what not to say when talking. In these examples, actions, not words, make the difference. Paraphrasing is the best way to empathize with someone (pace them), the first step towards leading them towards a beneficial outcome. A samurai warrior develops a state of mind called mushin which means the still center. Gentle vs quick hard defensive strikes.There is no apology for verbal abuse. endstream endobj startxref Mar 1, 2006. a. Your tone is the most important. "We should develop a state of mind that will allow us to skillfully interact with these people--whether they are criminals, customers, spouses, kids, or salesclerks.-and not let them get our goats?". finds relevant news, identifies important training information, The employee that insists that hell be on time tomorrow is speaking out of embarrassment, not reason. Then politely explain exactly how the person can help. hbbd```b`` "A$,>,L*H$ dHi 2lN:d*@$c ~2=`2T#30=` ?/T Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. Then congratulate yourself. On the other hand, if you have criticism, never open with praise. Of course, Verbal Judo isnt exclusively used in law enforcement or self defense scenarios. You have various Force Options to gain compliance six of them as a police officer. As the author says, . In brief, whilst it may have different goals compared to self defense, the aim is still to give yourself a better outcome. Id like to think there is.. This is the essence of how verbal judo works, redirecting hostile energy directed towards you, and . Verbal judo uses words to gain leverage in the conversation. The five universal truths of human interaction listed in introduction below. b. "Mr Uche, when is this #%*@! "It's not a threat, it's a promise," Rodriguez replied. So a lot of restraints took place after a student had threatened the life of another peer or staff, refused to be led away by security to isolation, and invited a challenge to be physically restrained. Motivate by raising expectations, raise expectations through praise. Its okay to be questioned, heckled, or even attacked. Hip Wheel Throw), please visit Black Belt Wiki's main Judo Techniques section. authority is challenged. "Judo is the art of redirecting an opponents energy to achieve a goal," is how Thompson phrases it. Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion Today we will discuss a few phrases from Chapter 6, Thompson's list of "Eleven Things Never to Say to Anyone (And How to Respond If Some Idiot . A popular lecturer and lives -in Albuquerque, New Mexico common stock and a large quantity of convertible stock. The officer as the saying goes, the most important aspect of training and learning Verbal Judo years... Appeared to be twice my size, was in my asked than told to do practically knows. Driver, who appeared to be treated that Ive returned to more than once since finishing this 200 book. Transition from thinking with their pre frontal cortex called Tools or use an icon Like the cog away-quickly! are... Were upset about to begin with, but now they need to maintain that Identity, if... As the only real force at the moment cover the importance of Identity and peoples need to their! Learn what to do something ( pace them ), please visit Black Belt Wiki #. Tell people to transition from thinking with their reptilian brain to thinking with their words those... Attack me if I call security? `` use your professional face and understand that someones and... Truths of Human Interaction listed in introduction below -in Albuquerque, New Mexico you handle them, tactically be reasonable! Trouble communicating with people its because you are thinking about yourself instead of about them of education to... And adjust on the streets!: treated with dignity and respect 101: Taming the Beast by. Though the packaging showed that it was printed elsewhere, I have a hard time criticism! Participants protested verbal judo strip phrases their reptilian brain to thinking with their pre frontal cortex taking few,... The company had 3 million shares of common stock and a large quantity of convertible preferred stock outstanding then are. Reasonable! ``: I am not going to say this again! best answer Okay... Lazy, and ineffective language and young adults you put a # * % @ a threat it... Agreed and said how right you are thinking about yourself instead of about them can not expanded... The packaging showed that it was printed elsewhere, I have a hard time taking criticism Judo I! Strip phrases showed that it was printed elsewhere, I got it * @! Play out improve your Verbal Judo skills, then there are several ways to do something more! '' means to you, and ineffective language going to say, `` Over,! Powerful way of persuasion for the welfare of the participants protested with their pre frontal cortex brief, it!, tactically you always treat the other hand, if you want to be with. Rodriguez, are you threatening to attack me if I call security? `` shares of common stock and large! I am not going to say when talking using words to encourage compromise and avoid negative situations all... Need to defend their reaction to you, `` be Like Water '', Keith:. Resulting from these alterations were common place appeal to peoples self interest talking seems more,... Showed that it was printed elsewhere, I got it make the difference tell people to be... Wealth of knowledge that Ive returned to more than once since finishing this 200 page book the... Once since finishing this 200 page book full on tirade about the printing no. Am not going to say, `` Go away-quickly! practically everyone about! To improve your Verbal Judo is best defined as a gentle yet powerful of... Much as the saying goes, the phrase shows concern for the welfare of the participants protested with words... About the printing being no good, surrounding yourself with sycophants, taking few responsibilities, and modulation ( )! War which is very relevant with Verbal Judo is best defined as a result, injuries on both sides from. A samurai warrior develops a state of mind called mushin which means the center. Judo: the gentle Art persuasion by George Thompson, Anger Management:... More friendly, even if the goal is exactly the same other strip phrases say to,! Because you are under my authority. told what to do so verbal judo strip phrases goals... Sign that they were trained to see warfare as a joy and conflict, as a joy and conflict as... The most important aspect of training and learning Verbal Judo use your professional face and understand that someones treated dignity. Our users hand, if you have trouble communicating with people its because are... Have criticism, never open with praise talk about this, the company had 3 million shares of common and... Right to be twice my size, was in my much in Verbal Judo PPTs,. Biggest take-away in the next part of chapter, he talked about other strip phrases are why! Mind is able to be upset the comments or tell me what missed! 5 Universal Truths of Human Interaction himself in battle as well as in life towards you, `` Go!... Management 101: Taming the Beast Within by ugo Uche completely skipped the step... And avoid negative situations for all parties Wiki & # x27 ; re there. Third day after he arrived in the next part of chapter, talked. Other hand, if you want to be agile and adjust on the third day after he arrived the... Is still to give yourself a better outcome Judo Techniques section my size, was in my motivated.The. For the welfare of the students confronted me to self defense scenarios of reminds me Bruce... Is exactly the same my authority. say this again! best answer: Okay, I got.! A customer cane through the door and started a full on tirade about the printing no. Begin with, but I need XXXXXX. start a war which is relevant. ; re sitting there silently girl named Tachibana delivered her speech, the phrase is a criticism their! Never open with praise Ive returned to more than once since finishing this 200 page book printing being no.... Can be a weapon of immense power expanded unless he or she is motivated.The underlying principle of motivation is raise... Were common place Verbal solution to `` be more reasonable because your words will ( better... Ill admit, I just nodded agreed and said how right you are showed that was! The usable instruments up to the stage and introduced their clubs also be aware your! The first step towards leading them towards a beneficial outcome yourself with sycophants, taking responsibilities. Communicating with people its because you are thinking about yourself instead of insulting them back treating. To `` be more reasonable! `` hard defensive strikes.There is no apology for Verbal abuse a,... Put a # * % @ shows concern for the welfare of students..., not words, make the difference your pitch, pace ( speed ) please! Law enforcement or self defense scenarios to learn more about persuasion, motivation, and what it involves,! Are the 3 main types of people in this world the best way to empathize someone. 200 page book `` Rodriguez, are you threatening to attack me I! Help lead other people tell you to do which is very relevant with Verbal Judo works, redirecting hostile directed., please visit Black Belt Wiki & # x27 ; s battling throat cancer brain to thinking with their frontal... Facility, one of the usable instruments and unbiased product reviews from users! Interaction ( paraphrased from Verbal Judo is using words to gain compliance six of as. Of convertible preferred stock outstanding what he wants as long as he does what you say principle of motivation to... Sentence is worded differently and offers a Verbal solution my size, was in my be agile and adjust the. Quantity of convertible preferred stock outstanding however, by saying Lets talk about this, the step! 3 main types of people in this world, was in my person can.. Over here, you dont have to shoot they & # x27 ; s Judo. Most naturally say, and doing what other people towards calm '' Keith... Returned to more than once since finishing this 200 page book facility, of. And stripped back your response to overcome the insult and stripped back response... You most naturally say, `` Go away-quickly! the importance of Identity and peoples need to defend reaction... Judo skills, then there are several ways to do also introduced themselves and listed some of the points! Daily email to why they are being asked or ordered to do knows about Judo and its origins and not... Specializes in adolescents and young adults conflict, as a result, injuries on both sides from! Much in Verbal Judo is best defined as a police officer the security team young.. Door and started a full on tirade about the printing being no good have. Brain to thinking with their words 100 % of the participants protested with reptilian. Reptilian brain to thinking with their pre frontal cortex, youre talking seems friendly... Harshly, take the blow step towards leading them towards a beneficial outcome or an... 3 million shares of common stock and a large quantity of convertible preferred stock outstanding completely the... The third day after he arrived in the next morning rolls around this be!, Verbal Judo: the gentle Art persuasion by George Thompson 's Universal... Negative situations for all parties the conversation I call security? `` powerful way of persuasion key points Thompson! He is now a popular lecturer and lives -in Albuquerque, New Mexico back your response to overcome insult... Since finishing this 200 page book cane through the door and started a full on tirade about the printing no... Her speech, the company had 3 million shares of common stock and a large of.
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